Cheers to the Teenage Years

I tried to smoke pot for the first time when I was 14. Figured I could sneak a few puffs off my big sister’s little glass piece. Stuck it in my mouth trying to figure out which end I was supposed to smoke from. Tasted peculiar. Plus, I just couldn’t get how to work the thing. Eventually, I discovered that these smoking devices typically have a little indentation where the marijauna is supposed to go as well as a pathway inside of it which allows you to inhale the smoke. Glass buttplugs don’t have either of these, which is an important distinction.

—Gold in the reddit comments section. (via brispyedges)

(via laughtill-youcry)

greeneyedgarnet:

spookynez:

chaosprancing:

superwholockgarfield:

morgrana:

OMG so I just figured out the word “hurt”

it’s past, present and future

you will be hurt

you are hurt

you were hurt

BECAUSE IF SOMETHING TRULY HURT, IT NEVER REALLY STOPS

you poetic little shit

it’s because… it’s an adjective… …

you will be stupid

you are stupid

you were stupid

that hurt

(via sexualremarks)

"Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?"

plightofthevalkyries:

Suddenly, there is a great rumbling.

Over hill, over dale, through forest, through fog, they come. Some walk. Some fly. Some crawl. Some simply move deep within the bowels of the earth. They are massive in number, terrifying in their fury. They blot out the sun from the grass below. They nearly shake the earth from orbit with their rage.

They are the English majors. 

They give a fuck about an Oxford comma.

(via tessahandswebmemrm)

youngmarxist:

So if we have to show women what the baby looks like in their womb and tell them how the process works before allowing them to get an abortion, does that mean we should teach our soldiers about the culture of the lands we’re invading, and explain to them that the people we want them to kill have families and feel pain, just like Americans?

(via orgasmic-humor)